I’m going to give you a piece of my mind. Given the full exposure to which citizens and government have been subject to in the last few days, with the new “naked body scans” and the not-so-diplomatic cables exposed by Wikileaks, I decided it was time to show myself naked to your eyes. Here you have it, my brain. All my ideas open to the public. Nothing to hide. Go ahead, Wikileak me, scan me. Here it is. Political views: Color blind. Religious views: Lazy eye.

I find it interesting that the government feels like they can spy on everybody else’s correspondence, but they get upset when other people eavesdrop into their conversations. And I find both cases particularly annoying and, on occasion, boring. I believe the best solution is full exposure. So next time I have to go through airport security, I may just have to take all my clothes off. Full disclosure. The full monty. I’m surprised that we haven’t had anyone streaking through TSA security, yet.

Finally, if Dr. House had a secret identity, like Superman, I think that would be me. At least many people tell me that I look like House, although others say that I’m more like Roberto Benigni. I love how the Dr. House character is a combination of good and evil, of the good wolf and the bad wolf fighting inside of us, just like in the Cherokee tale. Which one wins? The one I feed. It’s a pity that Hernández doesn’t quite have the same ring as House.

Disclaimer: Although the picture above is really my brain, or rather a scan of my brain, I have no relationship with Dr. House. This is a parody. Don’t try to cut yourself in half to see what your brain looks like. Use your brain and contact an specialist, like Susana Martínez-Conde, who scanned my brain right before I took her picture holding a brain (a fake one).